Oh My Gosh, There's A World Outside The Farm!!

It was so nice to get away this weekend with my mama, and she still holds the title of best mom ever in my book, even though we like to give her crap.

I left work early (4pm) on Saturday and drove down to St. Cloud, jamming and singing along to music the whole way, which made me feel a lot better about things in general. Of course, I had to have the windows down the whole way because of the sour milk smell, but I didn't mind. It was just so great to be FREE!!!!

That's something I need to remember here. I've "loosed myself from limits and imaginary lines," and setting up invisible walls for myself and getting run down by work has stifled my mental freedom lately. It's great to know that the world is still out there, ready to be explored, and that even if I am here and I might not like some of it, I'm still free in my own mind. I think some former president said something along the same lines, but I don't remember which one. Maybe Lincoln.

ANYWAY, mom and I flopped at the hotel for a bit, and then went out for Chipotle and a nice talk, and then to Barnes and Nobel to look at books and get our internet on. I bought three books, despite not having much money, because I'm quickly running out of things to read here at the farm. So here are the new books!
-Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsig
-Tales of a Female Nomad by Rita Golden Gelman
-Seven Years in Tibet by Heinrich Harrer

And then we went back to the hotel for bed, as I was exhausted.

This morning I got to sleep in until I woke up by myself at about 9:45, just in time to watch the England v. Germany match, only to see my wonderful Three Lions lose! It was pretty darn heartbreaking.

To get over this terrible defeat, I took a long hot shower (oh my gosh, water that stays hot instead of fluctuating to ice cold every few seconds! And that comes out of the shower head in a nice spray!) which was just fantastic, and then we went out to breakfast where I got whole wheat french toast.

Then back to Barnes and Nobel to look up some job possibilities and be tempted by a nap in a sun-drenched comfy chair. For a late lunch we went to Red Lobster and I got somewhat local Walleye from the Great Lakes. And those delicious cheddar biscuits!

And then I hugged mom goodbye and drove back to the farm on as many back-road scenic highways as I could find and marveled at the beauty of Minnesota lake country. It's so pretty up here. There's a lake among rolling hills and birch trees not more than 20 minutes from here that I may go spend some time at if I'm ever not too exhausted.

So overall it was a great weekend-day thanks to my mommy, great food, long sleep, gorgeous country, and good music. Thanks, world!

Still Exhausted, But Happier

"Carry on my wayward son,
There'll be peace when you are done.
Lay your weary head to rest,
Don't you cry no more."

Seriously, is there a song with a better chorus and killer guitar licks? Kansas made my whole day better as I was driving home from the stand. I was tired and hot and still in a bit of a funk, but in four minutes the universe spoke, and I knew everything would be alright. Perfect.

After talking with family and friends, I've decided that as long as I act with honestly, courage and conviction I will be ok with any decisions I make regarding staying here or quitting. Right now I've finally gotten my second wind and things are looking up, so I'm going to keep on truckin' here at Bluebird, but I'm also going to keep a weather eye (and ear) out for other job opportunities that may pay more and require less than all of my willpower and strength being sapped from me.

Ok, that was an exaggeration. :-)

But I'm feeling pretty good right now, and I'm excited because I'm going to meet mom in St. Cloud tomorrow for a fun day and a half! It's going to be a welcome break from the farm, and a good time to get in a car by myself and sing loudly for a couple of hours.

But while I'm on the subject of my car, does anyone have any good suggestions for getting sour milk smell out of a trunk? At the beginning of the week I took a bunch of people in to the grocery store, and Sam forgot a gallon of milk in my trunk, which promptly exploded and rotted in the heat, and now my car smells terrible. Halp!

Disenchantment

We're all talking about disenchantment today. We're tired, and dirty, and sore, and we feel like we spend half our time doing things that don't matter. Like spending 3 hours weeding the huge bean field, only to have Mark come up and say "oh, that's too far gone. I was just going to plow it under."

Ugh.

We're all feeling it. Yesterday and today were the worst, and I wasn't even working here. I was at the stand. Still, the hot sun beating down on you, the aching knees and backs, the innefficiency of so many things around here....

It's depressing.

Still, we power through. We spend the nights painting, reading, running, daydreaming, doing things to coax our good humors back long enough to make it through another day. It's hard. The novelty has worn off, and I'm waiting for my second wind.

I still love farming, but we're all a bit fed up with the inefficient, time-wasting and money-wasting ways of our boss and his wife.

I'm finding myself dreaming about New Zealand.

Sleepy Time

I sit down at night and want to write all about my farm days, but I'm just too exhausted to make any coherent sense!

So here are the most important details as of late:

-I convinced Mark that the industrial Cornish Cross chickens we have right now are worthless and WAY more trouble than they're worth, and so we've ordered new, more sustainable, heritage chickens for our next batch in July! I feel very proud of this accomplishment.

-We rescued six industrially raised northern white pigs from a life in cages on concrete and brought them to a big fenced yard under a shade tree where they can rut in the dirt, eat fresh vegetables, run about and play, and they're so happy! Bill, Stu, Jenny and I just sat watching them frolic around for about an hour yesterday. They didn't even know what to do with dirt at first, 'cause they'd never been outside before! They're gonna make great use of our wilted veggies and chicken guts, and will eventually become bacon, but for now they're pretty darn cute.

-There are daily discomforts and victories, but overall I feel good about the work I'm doing here. It's hard and tiring, but I'm happy, and this weekend Dad and Maddie and Julia are coming to visit, and then all of us interns are going to have a Solstice party with a big bonfire on Sunday night, so I'm excited for that. Things are going well, and even though I miss home sometimes, I'm having increasingly more "this is where I'm supposed to be" type moments.

But now it's getting late, and I've gotta go to bed. I hope everyone's doing well! Comment and let me know what's up in your part of the world!

I Wanna Knit You A Sweater, Wanna Write You A Love Letter, Wanna Make You Feel Better, Wanna Make You Feel Free

Oh my gosh, Duluth is awesome! It's so full of trees and rocks and water and crashing waves and soft sand and big metal bridges and heavy log cabins and people who love music and good food. It's like visiting a whole different part of the country, and WHY on earth haven't I been there more often in my life?

Well anyway, above is a picture of Jenny (invisible in hood), Bill and Stu, as we walked downtown on the first afternoon. We worked at the farm until noon, then headed out and got to Bill's stepdad's house in Duluth about 5pm. Then a delicious dinner of chili (Bill's homemade recipe) and cornbread, then out to the sauna in the backyard (a tiny room made of cedar logs, heated by a big woodburning stove with stones on top) until we sweated out all of the week's work, and then we dove into Lake Superior to cool off. Run back to the sauna, have a drink of water, and repeat for about two hours. It was HEAVEN.

As Maddie and Julia if you want to know how the inflection sounds on that last sentence.

Then we went to a brewery and had a drink, and by that time it was midnight and I was exhausted, so I went back to the house and fell asleep under a down comforter on a very comfy carpeted floor. Slept for about ten hours (such a treat!) and woke up to the smell of french toast. Had a big breakfast of said toast and homemade maple syrup (have I mentioned how Bill and his family are into making everything from scratch?? So great.) and then went for a long walk on the beach by myself. It was the best morning I've had in a long time. Life was just perfect for those few hours, and I couldn't think of anywhere I'd rather be.

Then we visited Duluth's co-op and the Electric Fetus where I bought Blue by Joni Mitchell (yes, I know I could have gotten it from one of the many people I know who have it, but I really wanted my own hard copy. It's SUCH a good album.) and a vinyl version of Snow Patrol's album A Hundred Million Suns since Jenny was bringing her record player back from home. OH, and I saw a chocolate shop with a whole window full of covered apples!!

So we hung out on the beach for the rest of the day and then had a dinner of buffalo burgers and headed back to the farm, freshly laden with Bill's canoe, Jenny's record player, a twenty pound bag of wild rice, and a fresh sense of peace to carry into the new week. It was a superbly relaxing weekend.

But then of course the first thing I go and do this morning is get one of the Bluebird trucks stuck in the mud and have to have Mark pull it out with the tractor when he's already in a bad mood. It was a pretty terrible start to the day. But it got better! Today I harvested radishes, cleaned and bleached the packing shed to get it ready for the CSA veggies, washed lettuce, kale, spinach, cucumbers and onions, and spent the afternoon putting up fencing for the young chickens to keep them from running into the road (they'll run after any human that moves near them, even if they're in a car). I also helped turn an old horse trailer into a makeshift chicken coop, built some perches and fenced in a small area for the sick chickens to live in, since we have to move them out of the pig pen they're currently living in since the new pigs are coming on Wednesday! Poor sick chickens. At least they'll have a nice place to live while they're getting better!

Oh. And I ate rabbit today for the first time. I couldn't refuse, since Zach shot it and Ernest cooked it up with a Ghanan recipe and was so excited to have everyone try it. It would have made him really sad if I didn't have any. And you know, if I lived in the woods and needed meat I don't think I would mind having rabbit be part of my diet, but as it is I don't need the meat, and I just couldn't stop thinking about the cute little bunny it had been before it died. Rabbits are just special to me. I don't think I'll eat it again for a while, at least.

So tomorrow is another CSA day, so it'll be an early morning, and it looks like it'll probably rain for most of the day. Thankfully I finally broke and bought a pair of big rubber work boots at Fleet Farm today (adult boots cost 25 bucks, but the same boots in the kids section in size 8 only cost 15! Bet you can't guess which ones I bought...). So for now I shall finish up my cup of peppermint tea and maybe try to do some yoga before I go to bed (there's no big, clean floor space to do it here, so I've been slacking off lately).

I hope all is well with you, dear reader.

Some Thoughts

I'd like to write a more structured post, but right now I'm just so tired I think I'll just bullet point some things I've been thinking lately.

- I'm beginning to understand why so many farmers became enamored of technology! There's so much work to do, and it's all a pain in the knees, back, feet, neck, arms and legs. I've become constantly physically exhausted and sore, and even though that sounds terrible it actually isn't that bad when you look back down the rows in the field and see what you've done. The work is worth it, but it's really HARD work, and I've been learning sympathy for farmers who've taken the easy way out with herbicides and pesticides, even though I wouldn't do those things myself.

-Our last crew member showed up tonight, her name is Samantha, and I took an immediate dislike to her that I can't figure out. It's strange how you can have a connection with someone, or have the instinct to steer clear of someone, even without talking to them much. For instance, I feel like Ramon and I share some kind of secret language even without talking. We always smile at the same things and seem to communicate more when we're not faced with a language barrier. On the other hand, Sam just exudes something that I don't really like, and I can't put my finger on it. I'm trying to get over it and just act normal, but she puts my shields up at full force for some reason, which is strange because she's very friendly and outgoing and generally cheerful. It's a mystery.
And if ANYONE can tell you about mystery, it's Hugh Laurie.

-I saw my first bluebird at Bluebird Gardens the other day! It was really pretty! I also saw another bird this morning that I remember seeing in the bird book when I was younger. I think it was called a "ruby-throated" something or other, but it isn't a humming bird. It had a seed eater beak and a splotch of bright red on it's throat.

-In other animal news, we're getting pigs next week! I know, mom, it's not cool. But they'll be cute little piglets for a while! Just like Wilbur! I'm going to be the female version of Lurvey the hired man! Now if only we could get a goose to come live next to them and say "probably-abably-abably!"

-The Bluebird Gang (me included) is heading to Duluth this weekend! Bill's family lives there, and Jenny's house is on the way, so we're gonna take a nice little road trip through northern Minnesota. It'll be fun, I think! We're leaving around noon tomorrow and coming back Sunday night.

-I have despaired of ever getting clean again. My hands are now permanently stained earth colors.

-I think I've come to realize (yes, it's only been a week, so this might change) that I'm an animal farmer. I just don't have the enthusiasm for vegetables and plants. I realized yesterday as we were piled on one of the fourwheelers coming back from the beets, that I was so excited about the long grass in the ditches that could be turned into hay, but not really at all interested in the beets. I would much rather work with the frustrating chickens than tie up tomato plants. For now, that's just the way it is. But I think this is a valuable insight! We'll see how I feel after we have to butcher the pigs and chickens.

-You know a plant that IS great, though?? Clover. Clover can be used as a cover crop, putting nitrogen back in the soil, or you can plow it under for green fertilizer, or you can cut it for hay or mulch, or you can let chickens into it to eat, or you can just leave it out there to grow and the honey bees will love you forever! We were working out in a field that has clover in it as a cover crop and the honey bees were thick as flies! It was great to see so many bees going about life despite Colony Collapse Disorder, and knowing that they're all going back to a hive out in the woods to make honey. I love bees. And clover.


Well, I'd better head off to bed. We're starting at 6am every day now, and that means a twelve hour work day. But not tomorrow, 'cause we're getting off at noon to head to Duluth! Yay!!

Uffda.

Today was a tough-y, as grandpa Milt would say.

We got up at 5:30 and started work at 6 so we could get the truck with the CSA orders out before 9, which we successfully did despite having to harvest a bunch more mixed lettuce and romaine at the last minute. Compared to last Tuesday (the first day of the CSA, which was total chaos) today ran like clockwork, but it still meant lots of being wet all day, heaving through ankle-deep mud in the fields, and lifting and loading and dumping various heavy boxes of produce. I am exhausted. I actually fell asleep on the couch in the boy's house waiting for dinner (which was a Peruvian dish made by Ramon! Delicious!).

Last night was my night to cook and I made spinach lasagna with fresh spinach and from-scratch noodles thanks to my pasta machine! It was a big hit with everyone, and I'm proud that I got the recipe, which I got from Dita, right on my own, having never made it without her before. For my next meal I'm gonna try making Mom's stroganoff recipe if I can call her sometime this week to ask for it. Having communal meals is so much fun because you try things you might never have tried before, and we bring together diverse recipes from our different families. It's challenging me to look back into my memory and find the dishes that I always loved so I can make them for other people.

Bummer news of the day - something (probably a mosquito) bit me right above my eye below my eyebrow, and it's swelled up so that I feel like Quasimodo, even though it's hardly noticeable to other people. Ow.

Good news of the day - I bought bug spray that I actually like! It's called OFF Smooth and Dry, and it isn't oily, and it smells like flowers! I have no idea how it can smell so good and still work, but work it does, and I didn't get eaten as bad today.

Really, things are good right now, and there are only a few things that would make it perfect:
-Seeing my mommy (I miss you, mama!)
-Getting a bit more sleep
-Having time and space to do yoga

But I'm not dwelling on that stuff too much. Overall I love my job, I'm working with cool people, I'm eating well and working hard. And I'm reading a lot, as we interns generally shun TV and such things here. I've already finished two books in the last few days! Life is simple and good.

Pictures From The Farm

Here's the farm house! Jenny and I live in the basement.



This is the old farm house on the property, which is pretty rundown but still livable. Aka: The boy's house.


This is Maddie, our farm dog, such as she is! She actually has a lot more personality than any other small dog I've ever met, and she looks like a little fox when she gets all wet.


This is part of the kitchen in the boy's house where we all make dinner. Bill and Alejandro and I were making guacamole!


Here are some of the northwestern fields! Mark's out doing something with one of the tractors... Oh! And that's our wind turbine! It pumps all the water for irrigation from the wells.


Here's the youngest flock of chickens. For some reason Mark chose to get the general "feed them 'till they can't stand up" breed, and they're the stupidest little things I've ever seen. But I kind of like them anyway :-). Can't get too attached, though, 'cause we have to butcher them eventually...


Some of the pretty lettuce mix we've been selling! I love looking at our fields and seeing all of the different colors!

That's all for now! More pictures to come eventually!

The Day I First Ate Radishes

I realized today, mid-cream-cheese-lettuce-and-radish-sandwich, that I don't remember ever eating radishes before! They're great! We've got tons of them here just now, and I'm beginning to enjoy the delights and challenges of seasonal food. For instance, what the heck do you make when your main produce for the week is radishes, kolrabi or kale? You get inventive, that's what. I'll keep you posted on what we come up with.

So here's a quick update, as I probably won't be updating tomorrow because Sunday is our one day off per week, and that means Saturday night is the one night we get to stay up and party. Which means (I gather from the other interns) sitting around in the boy's house drinking, singing, painting, writing and playing cards and then spending Sunday down at the swimming hole. Such is the country life.

One of the things I love the most about being here is the communal atmosphere. We're all working together in small groups during the day (almost never with the same people two days in a row) and then when we get done working for the day between 6 and 7 we all gather at the boy's house to make one or two main meals which we all share. I've volunteered to use my wonderful pasta maker to make some sort of pasta on Monday night (possibly lasagna, as we have a lot of spinach). Then, after dinner we have about two hours or an hour and a half with nothing to do, so we cycle through the showers, do our laundry, go for runs or bike rides if we have the energy, read a book, or just sit in the living room and talk. Some days we're too tired for much of anything, and we all sit around with our respective drinks, staring into space until someone realizes that nothing's been said for about fifteen minutes and tries to start up a conversation which ultimately lapses back into quiet sitting after a while. But it's a comfortable feeling; sitting and just BEING with other humans. Thinking our own thoughts and dreaming our own dreams, but living together.

AND I love that we're bringing back the art of conversation and the desire to read. When there's not much to do, and only an hour or two for free time before bed, we all tend to revert to basic interaction for fun, and it's fulfilling in a way that watching TV with people or sitting on computers just isn't.

So, before I sign off for the night, here's a funny story and a quote.

Funny story - Today, while putting up tents for one of the Fergus Falls stands, I cut my finger on a bit of metal. Having no bandaids, and not wanting to make a fuss, the only thing I could think to do to stop the bleeding was to rub dirt in the cut. Surely not the most hygenic thing to do, but it stopped the bleeding and I soldiered on! My hands are all ready getting tougher. (And yes, mom, I did put Neosporin and a bandaid on it when I finally got home :-))

Quote for the day -
"But when you have your eye on some prize, possessions begin to weigh heavily, junk food slows the steps. Surrender, at that point, is a natural process; it's what we do to attain the vision we have come to long for."
- From "The Barn At The End Of The World: The Apprenticeship of a Quaker, Buddhist Shepherd" by Mary Rose O'Reilley

In Which Alison Spends The Day On A Tractor

Hey everyone!

My first full day on the farm was spent mostly on the top of a red Farmall tractor, going back and forth over the northwestern fields. I tilled up five rows for pumpkins, tilled over the bok choi which had gone to seed, tilled up part of the field which had been messed up by a new irrigation line, tilled rows for radishes, and then got on another tractor which pulled something everyone calls a "reegi" (no idea what that stands for) that has someone sitting on top of it managing two prongs which till around the plants in a row.

So, in short, LOTS of tilling! But it was really fun, and I got really dirty!

After tilling, which took all morning and most of the afternoon, I headed to Fergus with Mark, Bill and Stu to put up the tent which our vegetable stand will be under. What a heck of a pain those tents are! All the pieces look the same, but only go ONE way in ONE spot. But we got it done, and the stand starts selling tomorrow.

Then, back home to the farm and dinner in the boy's house (the 7 boys live in a small, run-down house right next to the main house) where Bill and I made tortillas and venison with onions and peppers, and Ernest (who's from Ghana) made us a dish from home he called "rice balls and groundnut (aka peanut) soup." I was stuffed with deliciousness!

And now I suppose I'd better say something about the people I'm working here with. So far we have:
Jenny - My roommate, short, long hair, kind of awkward but knowledgeable and nice.
Stu - Rather punk-ish dude who's always smiling and being happy.
Bill - A bit quieter than Stu (they're cousins), more down to earth and knows about hunting and getting wild food.
Ernest - Tall, from Ghana, very cool accent, makes wicked rice balls.
Ramon - From Peru, pretty quiet so far but fun to speak Spanish with. For some reason Mark (boss-man) has trouble remembering Ramon's name, and tends to call him Raymond, to our great amusement.
Alejandro - From Ecuador, a bit louder and funny, loves to goof around with Ernest. And again, Mark has trouble with Alejandro's name and tends to call him Jackson. No one has any idea why.
Mike - VERY quiet and shy. I don't know much about him yet!
Zach - Lives in Fergus, so I haven't interacted with him as much, but he seems nice, despite his habit of spitting tobacco juice all over.

So there's everyone, for now. We're still expecting one more girl.

Things that I love about farming so far:
-Being outside ALL DAY!
-Getting dirty (and then getting clean at the end of the day)
-Feeling like I did something useful with my day
-Being tired, full and happy before bedtime
-Being around animals
-Seeing people being excited about organic produce
-Eating food that I helped grow (yeah, I know, it's only the second day, but this lettuce is great!)

Things about farming that I could live without:
-Getting sunburnt in strange places (my SHINS, for crying out loud!)
-Having a million mosquitoes in our basement
-Having chapped lips all day and not wanting to put on chapstick 'cause I'm filthy

Anyway, things are going great! I'm still learning and it feels like I'm going slower than everyone else, but I'll catch up. I suggested a new idea for getting the young chickens in at night and we're going to try it, so I'll let you know if it works out!

First Impressions

Alright, I've made it to Bluebird Gardens in Fergus Falls, and here's what I know so far:

-THE FARM HAS WIRELESS. But I won't have a lot of time to be on it.
-I'll be getting paid at the end of every week.
-We're currently getting to work at 7 or 8 am (depending on if it's a CSA delivery day) but it'll get earlier through the summer.
-I am one of ten interns, and so far I am one of two girls, but we're waiting for another to arrive any day.
-I'm sharing a room with Jenny and the Other Girl (don't know her name yet) in the basement of the main house, but my bed has my quilt on it, so I'm comfy in my new space.
-This farm is BIG! This is their first year doing a CSA and they already have 400 members, so everything is MAJORLY hectic.
-Mark, my new boss-man, used to be a 3rd grade teacher, so he's very upbeat and wants to hear everyone's suggestions on how to do things. He got very excited about the fact that I brought my books on chickens, as we're having trouble herding the youngest broilers into the coops at night.
-I hadn't been here fifteen minutes before I was bustled out the door to plant pumpkins. Whew!
-So far there really isn't a whole lot of structure to anything. Everyone seems to know what they're doing mostly, but Jenny (who got here a week ago) says that you just pick things up as you go along and that she was clueless at first too.
-As of now I'm not feeling too anxious about things, but it hasn't gotten dark yet, so we'll see how it goes. I'll be happy to see the sunrise tomorrow. :-)

This is Alison, signing off from her first day of work in the Real World.

Waiting For The Morning

I'm a bit nervous, but trying to keep my inner cool, as in the above picture. Tomorrow I leave for Fergus Falls, MN to start my new job at Bluebird Gardens. I'm planning on leaving in the morning so I can get that new-start-new-day-sunrise feeling when I take off.

It's an adventure! I'm going out into the world to make it on my own! I've talked to the 'rents and I plan on being financially independent (minus emergency car repairs and health insurance) by the end of June. It's kind of a big deal, this being on my own stuff. I feel well prepared, and excited, but nervous.

And I have NO idea what to expect when I reach Fergus. All I know is that I have a job working on a farm, and I will be paid until October. It's anyone's guess what kind of living situation I'll have or what I'll need, so I'm packing a pretty bare minimum. I have clothes, work gear, all necessary electronics, and the all-important books and music.

I'm starting a new phase of my life tomorrow, and it's going to be like nothing I've experienced before.

"Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I am defying gravity
And you wont bring me down!"
-Defying Gravity, Wicked (Glee Cover)