"On journeys through the States we start, (Ay through the world, urged by these songs, Sailing henceforth to every land, to every sea,) We willing learners of all, teachers of all, and lovers of all." -"On Journeys Through The States," by Walt Whitman
So now that I'm all graduated I've got time to go travel with my friends! Tomorrow Gabe, Lyss and I are heading over to Appleton to go see Dita and Mike for a few days, and I'm psyched!
Meanwhile, things that have been happening include: -I had my graduation party, which was really fun -I got some summer clothes, Chacos (SO GREAT), and the complete works of Walt Whitman. -I got the tattoo I've been waiting to get for the last four years (pictures to come, I'm sure) -My room is clean, thank you notes are out, and the car has been serviced.
So I've done everything I'm supposed to do for a while, and I plan on kicking back and hanging out with my best friends until Saturday. In the meantime, here's a picture of Mike helping cook breakfast during another Appleton road trip. :-)
I've just changed the look and sound of things a bit, as this blog is a representation of my life which has begun a new chapter. And to christen it, here's some more Whitman:
“Afoot and light-hearted, I take to the open road,
Healthy, free, the world before me,
The long brown path before me, leading wherever I choose.”…
“I think heroic deeds were all conceiv’d in the open air, and all great poems also;
I think I could stop here myself, and do miracles;” …
“From this hour, freedom!
From this hour I ordain myself loos’d of limits and imaginary lines,
Going where I list, my own master, total and absolute,
Listening to others, and considering well what they say,
Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating,
Gently, but with undeniable will, divesting myself of the holds that would hold me.
I inhale great draughts of space;
The east and the west are mine, and the north and the south are mine.
I am larger, better than I thought;
I did not know I held so much goodness.
All seems beautiful to me;” …
“Now I see the secret of the making of the best persons,
It is to grow in the open air, and to eat and sleep with the earth.
Here a great personal deed has room;
A great deed seizes upon the hearts of the whole race of men,” …
“Now I reexamine philosophies and religions,
They may prove well in lecture-rooms, yet not prove at all under the spacious clouds, and along the landscape and flowing currents.
Here is realization;
Here is a man tallied—he realizes here what he has in him;
The past, the future, majesty, love—if they are vacant of you, you are vacant of them.” …
“Allons! we must not stop here!
However sweet these laid-up stores—however convenient this dwelling, we cannot remain here;
However shelter’d this port, and however calm these waters, we must not anchor here;
However welcome the hospitality that surrounds us, we are permitted to receive it but a little while.” …
-Walt Whitman, from "Song of the Open Road"
When I began this blog I named it "The Half-Way Point" because I began it in the summer before my junior year of college, and I was indeed half-way done. Now, I'm starting a new adventure; an adventure on the open road of life, and while it may sometimes be a real road, it may sometimes be a less tangible journey. I think this new name, and it's connection to Whitman's poem, says a lot about my hopes for the future.
"From this hour I ordain myself loos'd of limits and imaginary lines, Going where I list, my own master total and absolute, Listening to others, considering well what they say, Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating, Gently, but with undeniable will divesting myself of the holds that would hold me." -Walt Whitman, "Song of the Open Road"
It's over. The long college experience that I've been living for the past four years as I've sprinted and struggled to keep going; the late nights writing papers and wracking my brain; the panic I felt on Sunday nights when I'd have to go back to Chicago, or Michigan, or Morris, or even the cities; all the wondering about "is this what I'm supposed to be doing?"; the paperwork that needed to be filled out every time I switched schools; getting up at 7am to go sit half asleep in a lecture hall; living my life with the sole purpose of getting a piece of paper that will make my family proud and magically give me a better future. It's all over.
Yes, there were good times and great opportunities. Without school I never would have gotten to study in Scotland or Mexico, I never would have met my cool friends, I never would have learned so much about myself in the way I did, and I won't ever take for granted the things my parents gave up to give me this opportunity, nor will I forget the people in the world who would give everything to have been able to do these things. But having said that I have to admit, as many of you already know, that these last four years have been an uphill climb for me, and I won't pretend I'm not relieved to have it over.
And the future has never looked so good! I keep having these moments of elation where I suddenly think "I can do ANYTHING!" I've traveled, I've learned, I've faced some of my demons, I've dealt with difficult situations, I can take care of myself and I can do good in the world. Of all the things I've learned in these last four years, I have to say most of them didn't come from academia, but from the experiences I've had while trying to make it through academia. And I've come out stronger on the other side, fire-hardened and ready to go.
I'm 22 years old, and I have just TONS of life ahead of me, and it's time to take the reins. I'm ready.
I worked on it all weekend, and it's finally done and turned in. 27 pages, beautifully encased in a clear-front binder.
So, if anyone feels like reading this tome on corn in agriculture, let me know and I'll email you a copy. As for the rest of you who don't care to read about corn but are still excited that I'm done, THANKS!
Ugh, but it's not over yet. I've got a six pager due tomorrow, and two five pagers due on Friday. But then I'm ALL DONE WITH COLLEGE!
Graduation is happening next Sunday, the 16th, 3pm! I officially have, in my possession, four tickets. So you guys better start kissing up if you wanna come! No, not really. Three of them are reserved for Mom, Lance and Dad, and the last one will be going to Maddie or Julia, whoever cares to go.
And then.........*deeeeeeeeeeeeeep sigh* a few blessed weeks of de-stressing are in order, in which time I shall shut off my brain almost entirely (with the exception of the ability to breathe), and tire my body out completely every single day in hopes of balancing myself out a bit.
So. I've got just a bit left to do, but I'm doing alright! Yay, life!!!
Ugh. I don't know what was up with me and this day, but there was no love lost between us.
I've been having trouble sleeping recently, and I've done everything from taking hot showers to doing the relaxing aspects of my yoga and tai chi, to settling down with a good book, to meditation, and any number of other things. I just can't get to sleep. So last night I laid in bed from 1am until 4 unable to sleep, and getting more and more frustrated by it.
Basically, I'm pretty sure it's all the stress of these last two weeks of school building up, and I just can't wait for it to be over. Tonight I plan on trying a few more things to chill out.
But anyway, I woke up this morning and was peeved 'cause I was tired and I'd slept through class. I just felt terrible. I've been trying to get out of it all day, but I just couldn't do it. I felt off center all day, and I haven't been able to write anything decent. I'm still at 9 pages, and I have six days left to write at least 11 more pages. Uff da.
I've decided the best thing to do at this point is to go to bed and try for a better day tomorrow, since I couldn't seem to salvage this one. Wish me luck!
"On journeys through the States we start,
