Worrying

So, this is the second week in a row where I've gotten very few hours at the Reub, and that makes me worry. They scheduled me two days this week, and only one next week, and that's strange after I HAD been there four days a week at least. Granted, they've hired some new people lately, but I've heard of people being forced out by having their hours cut because the boss couldn't think of a good reason to fire them. GUYS WHAT IF THEY'RE TRYING TO GET ME TO QUIT?

I guess I shouldn't care that much because even if they DO cut my hours I'm not gonna quit because I need to take what I can get, and I DO have Hogan's. BUT, I hate the feeling of not doing a job right, and the idea that I'm screwing up and nobody is telling me puts me on edge. Well, I shouldn't say NOBODY'S telling me, 'cause Jerry (one of the bar tenders/waiters) tells me what I'm doing wrong all the time. And I have this inner feeling of not being cut out to be a waitress (oh, what a loss, right??).

I know I'm being insecure, but I'm worried.

Snow Triggers Contemplation Of The Past And Future

I went to bed in the fall, and this morning I woke up in winter.

I don't remember a snowfall this early! It was totally surprising, possibly because I hadn't been paying attention to the weather. But I feel like we made a total change overnight, from colors and straw and pumpkins to white and hot cocoa and roaring fires. My mind hasn't quite had time to adjust yet. But I like it! I like snow!

For those of you that have talked to me in person, you know about my trip to L.A. earlier this week, and you know the outcome. But for those of you that don't....bummer! Apparently I'm not allowed to talk about it online.

But I WILL tell you about other cool parts of the trip! Such as the fact that I met Portia de Rossi and got her memoir (which I read all in one day) signed. And that I got to tour the Queen Mary, which is an amazing ship. And that my dad randomly showed up, so it was me and mom and dad for pretty much the whole trip, and it was weird to feel like an only child. BUT it did mean that I didn't have to pay for anything, which was nice. And actually, because of the way things worked out with the per diem I got, mom didn't have to pay much of anything either. Yay, free vacation!

Of the whole trip, I've got to say that meeting Portia was the highlight for me. She's just the sweetest, brightest person I've ever met. She lights up the room, and her sense of happiness just saturates you when you're around her. And her book was great. If you haven't read "Unbearable Lightness" yet, go out and get a copy. I've never read anything like it.

But now I'm back at the grind. Actually, this coming week won't be so bad because I don't think I have any double shifts. Maybe one, but it's doable. So work should be alright.

I'm also planning on buying my tickets to New Zealand in the coming week or two. The plan as of right now looks like this:
1) Fly to Phoenix on January 13th to visit dad and Gabe
2) Fly to L.A. on January 28th for the Xena convention (*cringe* I know, I know, I'm almost ashamed) and an Awareness seminar with Renee O'Connor
3) Fly from L.A. to Auckland on January 31st, arriving February 2nd.

So we'll see how this goes! Keep your fingers crossed!