Ready

"From this hour I ordain myself loos'd of limits and imaginary lines,
Going where I list, my own master total and absolute,
Listening to others, considering well what they say,
Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating,
Gently, but with undeniable will divesting myself of the holds that would hold me."
-Walt Whitman, "Song of the Open Road"


It's over. The long college experience that I've been living for the past four years as I've sprinted and struggled to keep going; the late nights writing papers and wracking my brain; the panic I felt on Sunday nights when I'd have to go back to Chicago, or Michigan, or Morris, or even the cities; all the wondering about "is this what I'm supposed to be doing?"; the paperwork that needed to be filled out every time I switched schools; getting up at 7am to go sit half asleep in a lecture hall; living my life with the sole purpose of getting a piece of paper that will make my family proud and magically give me a better future.
It's all over.

Yes, there were good times and great opportunities. Without school I never would have gotten to study in Scotland or Mexico, I never would have met my cool friends, I never would have learned so much about myself in the way I did, and I won't ever take for granted the things my parents gave up to give me this opportunity, nor will I forget the people in the world who would give everything to have been able to do these things. But having said that I have to admit, as many of you already know, that these last four years have been an uphill climb for me, and I won't pretend I'm not relieved to have it over.

And the future has never looked so good! I keep having these moments of elation where I suddenly think "I can do ANYTHING!" I've traveled, I've learned, I've faced some of my demons, I've dealt with difficult situations, I can take care of myself and I can do good in the world. Of all the things I've learned in these last four years, I have to say most of them didn't come from academia, but from the experiences I've had while trying to make it through academia. And I've come out stronger on the other side, fire-hardened and ready to go.

I'm 22 years old, and I have just TONS of life ahead of me, and it's time to take the reins. I'm ready.