We're all talking about disenchantment today. We're tired, and dirty, and sore, and we feel like we spend half our time doing things that don't matter. Like spending 3 hours weeding the huge bean field, only to have Mark come up and say "oh, that's too far gone. I was just going to plow it under."
Ugh.
We're all feeling it. Yesterday and today were the worst, and I wasn't even working here. I was at the stand. Still, the hot sun beating down on you, the aching knees and backs, the innefficiency of so many things around here....
It's depressing.
Still, we power through. We spend the nights painting, reading, running, daydreaming, doing things to coax our good humors back long enough to make it through another day. It's hard. The novelty has worn off, and I'm waiting for my second wind.
I still love farming, but we're all a bit fed up with the inefficient, time-wasting and money-wasting ways of our boss and his wife.
I'm finding myself dreaming about New Zealand.
1 comment:
I'm sorry this is hitting you. The disenchantment phase of anything is really hard....I hope you find a constructive way to come to grips with it.
The good news is, you ARE learning a ton... even if some of it might be learning from negative example. You'll have a really good basis for developing your opinions and philosophy about farming (and life)...
And this phase won't last forever. I'm betting that when it's over you'll be very proud of yourself for pushing through the hardships, especially the physical ones, to see what you can do.
I love you!
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