Going North

“I love the road, and I’ve been blessed, but I love you best!”
-Caroline, by Brandi Carlile

Guys, I’m coming home! I’ve changed my plane ticket to May 10th, so I’ll be back in about a week and a half! First, let me just say, I’m really excited about this.

But I also feel compelled to explain my reasoning a bit. Which is lame, ‘cause I shouldn’t have to explain a desire to come home after traveling for three and a half months, but because my visa is valid for a year, and because I’ve met so many people who have been on the road for many more months, and some even years, I feel like I should explain.

When I first set out, I told everyone I didn’t know how long I’d be gone, but it’d probably be between six months and a year. The reason I had no idea what the time frame would be was because I had no idea what I was looking for, or where I’d end up, or what I’d be doing. The reality of it is that, as much as I love the road and feel its call pretty constantly, it’s also pretty hard to be packing your bags and moving on every day, especially alone, and I’ve come to really respect people who do it for a living. But my reasons for coming back aren’t based in my travel fatigue, so much as in the following:

1) Money, cost of living and timeframe – Guys, it is WICKED expensive to live in this country. You have to budget 10 to 15 dollars per meal even to just get something small (even a cheeseburger value meal at McDonalds is $8), at least $25 for a paperback book, $2.50 or so for a small candy bar… you get the idea. So just living and paying for food and accommodation will deplete your wallet pretty fast, even WITH the exchange rate (which is going downhill pretty fast), and if you add any activities on to that, well… The long and short of it is that I worked like a dog at two jobs in the States for six months, and that amount of money lasted me three in NZ. I planned on getting a couple of jobs here, and I did, but earning minimum wage is not enough to fund travel. It’s enough to get you food and lodging if you’re working full time, but that’s pretty much it. In order to make enough money to travel around some more I’d have to work like a dog here for another six months, and I’m just not prepared to do that because

2) just like I felt the call out here, I’m now feeling the call home. There are things I’ve wanted to accomplish, and I HAVE done 3/4ths of them (or will by the time I set food in the States again), and there are things I couldn’t have expected, and they’ve changed me. All travel changes you, if you let it, but quests and pilgrimages like this one are especially prone to revelation and rebirth. Because I feel changed, and like I’ve gained a lot from what I’ve done and learned here, I feel like this trip has fulfilled its purpose. It’s as simple as that, and yet I can’t explain exactly what those changes are and exactly what I HAVE learned partly because they are too personal to make real for someone else, and partially because I don’t know yet fully what the end result is or will be.

Does that make sense? Probably not. But if you end up in deep conversation with me when I come back, as I know those of you who I’m closest with most definitely will, I’ll be able to explain a bit better. I’ve had layers of my dragon skin pealed away; I’ve faced several challenges, mental, physical and spiritual, and come out on top; I’ve rediscovered a self that I haven’t seen hide or hair of since I was young, and while I still have a ways to go on one issue that I’m currently dealing with, I feel stronger than I have in years.

But even when I come home, my journey isn’t over. First of all, homecoming is just as much a part of the quest as leaving it. Arnold van Gennep, one of anthropology’s founding fathers, said that any rite of passage or pilgrimage is made up of separation, ordeal and reintegration. So I’ve still got one stage left, at least! Secondly, what a lot of travel will make you realize is that whether you’re in your own country or half-way across the world, there are pilgrimages to make, mountains to climb, things to discover… The fortunate or unfortunate thing about this truth is that it often TAKES a trip to the ends of the earth to realize this. And I think that’s ok, because at least in my case, I always want to see what’s over the next hill, even if it IS just as cool as what’s in my backyard.

Anyway. The gist of all this is that I’m coming home. And I’m excited about it!

I’m excited for late spring/early summer. I’m excited to be in tune with the seasons again. I’m excited for services at St. John’s. I’m excited for high tops, having more than three changes of clothes, having a room of my own to lie down in at night, space to do yoga, cheaper food (especially chocolate!), maple trees, being able to sing at the top of my lungs in my car, driving down the stretch of highway 19 between I35 and Northfield, FREE INTERNET, constant access to a library, hearing Maddie making the whole house loud, bubble baths, sitting and taking with mom and Lance before bed, seeing the sunrise out my East window in the morning and falling asleep in the glow of the streetlight at night, sitting and being slightly frustrated with sitting while listening to Gabe muck around with a guitar, giggling like mad with my sisters when dad says something particularly hilarious, moving my chickens back into the yard for the summer (if they haven’t been moved already!), having more control over what and when I eat and exercise, being able to do laundry WHENEVER I WANT, walking in the arb, biking around with my ipod on, going to the Co-op, being able to talk to people on the phone, going camping with my new tent (I plan to do that a lot this summer!), eating breakfast in the sunny kitchen, ETC ETC

I’m excited. Can you tell? But don’t worry, there will be a long list of things I’ll miss about New Zealand coming soon. And also updates with things like the Fjordlands, Mt. Cook and Kaikoura. :-)